Chocolates Are Evil
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: They say power comes from within... that's a load of crap. It comes from chocolate. Prompt fic.


**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Chocolates Are Evil

**Summary**

They say power comes from within... that's a load of crap. It comes from chocolate.

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I know you're all sitting there at your desks thinking, 'what the hell is wrong with this guy? Why on earth would he state power comes from chocolate? He's obviously got a few screws lose in his head.' I know how it is. Trust me; I've shared those thoughts before. Do you remember Brooklyn? The crazy ginger who claimed he could see into the future? The one who beat me into a pulp during a beybattle?

I know you're thinking, 'how the hell did Brooklyn get those superb powers anyway?' I will tell you. I'll let you in on his secret. He was a chocolate addict. Chocolate was the source of his madness. Before he would battle, he would snack on many Cadbury bars, especially the white chocolate. You see dear children, chocolate gives you strength.

Chocolate gives you power. Chocolate gives you pleasure. Remember these truths and you will go far in life; like me. Sure, I lost a few battles but that's because I had no money to afford chocolate. But if I had money during those battles... I, the almighty Kai Hiwatari, would've crushed my opponents with ease. Of course, all this stuff about chocolate giving you power makes some beybladers very jealous.

Some idiots, like Tyson, make abhorrent claims that chocolates are evil. Tyson claims that chocolate lowers your concentration as you are too busy savouring that lovely taste in your mouth to focus on the battle. He also makes wild statements about chocolate being bad for you as it makes you fat. Bullshit. The extra weight you put on helps you become more powerful.

My friends think I'm crazy. They think I'm crazed with power. Think I've completely lost my marbles which is a complete load of shit. I don't even have marbles. But you know what I think? I, the great Kai Hiwatari, think they're all bloody insane. They're all jealous because when they eat chocolate, they put on a lot of weight. But not me, I am special. Some may assume I'm anorexic, but I just burn all the fat during battle.

But how do you know which chocolate to purchase and what ones to avoid? This requires some hard thinking as the wrong choice can drain you of energy and make you feel very fatigued. Dark chocolate is a big no-no. Experts state this stuff is good for you as it may transiently improve DNA resistance to oxidative stress, probably for flavonoid kinetics. BUT AVOID IT. This stuff makes you feel bloated, fatigued and just sick in general. Trust me, you do not want to fight a tough battle after eating a block of dark chocolate. So avoid stuff like Scharffen Berger and Lindt.

What about milk chocolate? I personally find Cadbury's milk chocolates fantastic. I love the melting sensation in my mouth after a long hard day training. It's relaxing. It calms nerves. It also tastes very creamy and I like creamy. You may feel somewhat sick after eating too many blocks of milk chocolate however so don't go overboard.

And finally, the godly pure white chocolate. You can't go wrong here. As I mentioned before, this stuff really makes you strong and tough. With the right amount of white chocolate in your system, you will crush any opponent. White Freddo Frogs give you just enough strength to withstand the most brutal of beybladers like that nasty ginger Brooklyn. Nestle White is good and Milky Bars are another nice boost.

Keep these facts close. Never forget them. Write it down and keep it safe. One of these days you will find yourself in a situation where you will need to decide which chocolate is best for you. If anyone tells you to stop eating chocolate, do what I do and simply 'hmph', close your eyes and walk away. They may think you are anti-social, but really, you're just dreaming about that chocolate.

Well... you know what to do... right?

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And finally, the Chocolates Are Evil prompt is finished! I was meant to upload this early last month, but I never managed to finish it on time. It's probably one of the most random things I've written which is saying a lot as I write a lot of random stuff. And although short, hopefully, you found the one shot passable. Reviews are appreciated : )


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